Desolate Peregrination
by Some random guy.or girl
Summary: "You loved my father." He turns and looks at me just longer than necessary, and I know it is because he sees my father in me. That is why he stayed away since father's death... Boruto knew then that Sasuke traveled all these years to seek atonement, and to fulfill his father's dreams. SasuNaru, Boruto's POV in the stroll from childhood to adulthood. Canon-divergence.
1. Chapter 1

I wanted to put this brainfart on paper (or computer screen) from the moment it popped up! I'm currently convinced that SasuNaru/NaruSasu is OTP, and it made me wonder about their lives in the canonverse, being married to Hinata and Sakura. Timeline has shifted forward so Naruto takes on the Hokage role earlier.

This is from Boruto's point of view in third person. I am so excited to post this, hope you enjoy!

* * *

The first time Boruto had met Uncle Sasuke was at his home.

His father had invited his best friend and his family over for dinner after the man had spent years on the road alone. He had heard many stories about Uncle Sasuke, and took a liking to the stolid, brooding man immediately.

It was from that dinner that Sarada and Boruto, at six years of age, started their rivalry. They had pestered the dark-haired man for stories of his youth with Team 7, and Sasuke had entertained them as their mothers chatted and prepared dinner in the kitchen. The youngsters didn't take long to begin heated arguments over the achievements of their fathers.

" _I'm_ going to be Hokage one day! I'm going to be even better than my dad! Besides, your dad isn't even Hokage anyway, Sarada!"

Boruto had stuck his tongue out, and cautiously snuck a glance at the famed ninja. He knew they weren't kind words, Uncle Sasuke did not need the title of a Kage to be respected and feared across the Five Nations.

However, Sarada pouted at her father, "Why aren't _you_ Hokage, dad?" She had asked indignantly.

Uncle Sasuke had looked thoughtful for a little while, and smiled the smallest smile.

"Because I have to protect the Hokage whilst he is protecting everything precious in Konoha. I think I have a pretty cool job, don't you?"

Sarada had listened dutifully but looked dubious. "I think I still want to be Hokage." Her resolve firm for a six-year-old.

"Is my dad precious to you, Uncle Sasuke?" Boruto had asked innocently, if a Hokage protects everything precious in the village, and Uncle Sasuke is protecting dad, that makes a lot of sense!

Sasuke had looked at him with the same stoic expression Boruto has learned he always carries, then smiled the same small smile, his eyes hidden in his hair. "Of course, your dad is my best friend."

The man had then stood up to help Naruto at the door, who had returned from his errand to purchase some drinks for the little dinner party that night.

Boruto remembers this night well for a six-year-old. He remembers the laughter, the simple happiness in the gathering of friends and family. He remembers his father's arm casually slung around his best friend's shoulder as they drank late into the night.

* * *

Uncle Sasuke never stayed in the village long, he was always on the road.

 _Hunting for dangers that might threaten the Hokage_ , Boruto thought.

He remembers the spark that would come to his father's eyes whenever the dark-haired nin made his way back home again. He would announce that he will be drinking with Sasuke, kiss his mother goodbye, and come home later that night whistling and stumbling, drunk and happy. He would recount to Boruto and Himawari his best friend's conquests whilst he was on the road.

Then there were days when Boruto knew Uncle Sasuke had come home bearing terrible news.

There were no stories on those days.

On those days, his father would spend his time late into the night in his office with his advisors. He would come home and fall into his mother's always loving arms, mentally and physically exhausted.

Boruto would hear his father ask his mother if he is doing the right thing keeping Sasuke on the road. His mother would gently touch his father's cheek, his eyes dull with anguished worry, and tell him that that was not his decision to make anyway. His father would take her hand in his and kiss it with a sad smile; the conversation having ended, Boruto would slip away.

This cycle of Uncle Sasuke coming and going continued until he was twelve years old. When Boruto turned twelve, he begged Sasuke to teach him to become a better shinobi, so that he could gain his father's acknowledgement. He saw the quick flash of amusement before he pressed his lips into a thin line and brushed him off. Not until Boruto learnt the Rasengan, he had said. So he did. He learnt what he could to pull of the jutsu his grandfather invented. He saw the familiar reminiscence in the dark eyes as his father's best friend studied him, sighed and agreed. So Sasuke stayed.

* * *

At twelve years of age, Boruto understood love more than ever. He loved his friends and his village and his parents and his sister. His father loved his mother fiercely, and she loved him back. That love was simple to grasp, and it came easily.

He learnt the conflict that came with love.

As much as his father cared for and loved his family, he father rarely came home. His love for his work and his village made Boruto feel less than significant to his father, even though he knew it wasn't true. He hated that his father was Hokage.

And through his new sensei's eyes, he learnt the torment that came with love.

Boruto saw the prolonged glances, the softening of usually hard, stoic eyes, the furrowing of the brows, and the turning of the head with a slightly duller and averted gaze.

He saw the same in his father.

Angsty with what he has observed and conflicted within himself, he had asked Uncle Sasuke on any casual day when the prolonged silence between the taciturn master and jittery student became too much to bear. "Do you love my dad? Does he love you too?"

As he did six years ago, the older man simply smiled the smallest smile. "Like my own brother."

Boruto bit his lip and accepted the spoken answer. This time, he caught the desolation in that smile.

* * *

When he was thirteen, his father invited Sasuke over to drink as he had done so frequently. His mother was away on a mission, and he himself having just returned from one, fell into sleep readily after bidding his father and Uncle Sasuke good night.

Boruto had awoken, hungry, having skipped dinner, and wandered towards the kitchen. He had paused at the edge of the living room, his father and his best friend were sitting on the floor in front of the couch, well on their way to a hangover.

He did not step in or announce his presence.

Sasuke had leaned over, and tentatively pressed his lips against his father's. They parted almost immediately, a painful desire in their eyes.

He watched in shock as they simply stared at each other.

Then, his father, face flush with alcohol and perhaps now with something else, reached for Sasuke's face. With a firmer conviction, he entangled his fingers in a fistful of dark hair and pulled his face towards his own. He watched as his father slowly lowered the other man to lay on the floor, still in an embrace.

Boruto stumbled out of sight and quickly, _quietly,_ made his way back to bed, horrified and speechless, angry for his mother and pained for his father and Sasuke. Torn for having seen something he should not have seen.

Uncle Sasuke returned to the road shortly thereafter.

To say he wasn't relieved was a lie. He could not face his father or his uncle and was glad that he at least did not need to face one of them without reason.

He saw the dullness in his father's eyes, he saw moments when his father thought he was alone, covering his face and wracked with guilt. He noticed the extra time his father spent with his mother, the extra gestures of love he threw her way. His attempts at a silent atonement.

For all the anger he had against the two men for what they have done, he could not hate them. No, deep inside him, he felt for their pain, and so, he kept his silence.

* * *

The next time he saw Uncle Sasuke, it was at Himawari's 14th birthday party. He had made it back to Konoha for the first time in almost 3 years.

Boruto greeted his sensei and welcomed him back. Despite now being nearly as tall as him, Sasuke had casually ruffled his blond hair in greeting, and turned towards his father.

No-one but Boruto watched as Sasuke walked over and seated himself right by the blond man, his arm flush against his fathers, his hand casually brushing the top of his best friend's. He saw his father turn to look at his best friend with a grin, his eyes were bright, hopeful, ecstatic. Then suddenly, those same eyes were almost violently anxious, distraught, guilty. It was a look of despair Boruto could observe but not understand.

He saw his father feign a faltering smile at his best friend, his could-have-been lover, greet him as one would formally greet an acquaintance. He had hesitated, enough for Sasuke to grunt in response without meeting his eyes, before walking away. Even from where he stood and watched, he felt the pain.

Uncle Sasuke left again two days later.

* * *

When he was twenty, his father, the Hokage, ran to the gates of Konoha himself, catching Sasuke as he fell. His figure was barely recognizable.

Now part of the protection detail to the Hokage in between missions, he understood just why Uncle Sasuke had said this job was important. And he understood why his father never let his job escape him when he was growing up.

He watched his father's face twist in desperate anguish as he called medics over to help, clutching the man close to himself.

Over the next week, his father would go to Uncle Sasuke's hospital bed every day. Sometimes, just staying for a few minutes, checking in on him. When it became clear that the mighty Uchiha has no short-term intentions to awaken from his coma despite Sakura-san's best efforts, his father gradually rearranged his nightly schedule to set aside time to sit by his best friend's bedside.

He would sometimes tell him light anecdotes of his life when Sasuke was on the road. Other times, he would read to him, or work away on his reports, asking Uncle Sasuke questions and advice that would not be answered.

Many a time when Himawari would bring dinner to her father, she'd catch him looking at Uncle Sasuke, sad yet content. She'd feel a blanket of comforting warmth, as he shared his chakra through his left hand that was resting on Sasuke's right.

When the day came weeks later that Uncle Sasuke awoke, his father slipped away silently as Sakura and Sarada exclaimed their husband and father's name in relief.

Boruto saw the blank look in Uncle Sasuke's eyes, knowing, searching, and not finding, then resting on his family with a tired smile. He saw his father make his way to the rooftop, and weep poorly hidden tears of relief.

Not even 2 months later, after a grueling recovery period from muscle atrophy, a half-recovered Uncle Sasuke had stood in front of the Hokage's desk, requesting to leave Konoha to finish a mission that nearly left him dead.

Boruto watched as his father's fury rose, slamming his palms on his desk, teeth bared as he demanded the Uchiha to stay in Konoha.

Uncle Sasuke did not respond, his stance firm, his eyes hard as steel. His father wavered, anger gone from his eyes, dejected anxiety taking its place.

Boruto remembered from all the years before when he overheard his parent's talking. His father couldn't make this decision for Sasuke.

"Please, Sasuke, stay. Please."

The Hokage had begged.

For the shortest of seconds, he saw the steel melt, and just as soon as he was certain he saw it, the steel wall slammed back up.

And so, Sasuke left yet again.

* * *

The last time he saw Uchiha Sasuke was at his father's funeral, ten years later. The people praised his father's bravery, for saving Konoha so many times, and lamented his death.

He saw Sasuke by his father's coffin, emotionless, eyes betraying nothing.

Sasuke had turned down any offer of consideration to the Hokage position despite numerous supporters to his cause. He simply stated that he was not fit to lead.

Boruto watched as Sasuke placed his palm on the wood, and run his hand softly across the top. He watched as Sasuke silently murmur goodbyes to the man who died beside him in battle, to the man that was his brother, his best friend, his eternal rival, his soulmate. Boruto watched as Sasuke looked up, pierce his gaze with his own empty eyes. He held his gaze for what felt like a silent lifetime and without a single crack in the stoic mask that he had put on, turn to walk away.

* * *

(Boruto POV, first person)

As I stand here now, in front of my father's grave stone, I see the silhouette of the once mighty Uchiha walking towards me. I had heard tales in the almost two decades since I last saw him, tales of him bringing cities to flourish and crushing cities to oblivion. Serving what he believed to be the right cause. He still stands tall, but his frame is smaller, his face wrinkled, and his hair grey.

"Hokage-sama." He addresses me in tender jest, as he positions himself besides me.

"Uncle Sasuke."

As it seems that I have done my whole life, I watch him. He looks down at my father and my mother's tombstones in confusion.

"Yet, I am still alive. Ironic." He says matter-of-factly, almost disappointed in himself.

Sakura-san had also passed. Though I did not see him at her funeral, Sarada had said that her mother died with her father by her side, and he had added a bouquet, to be delivered to her grave every year in addition to my father's.

They had both loved their families. I do not doubt it for a second. Yet I fail to understand their choices. Did mother and Sakura-san know? The must have. Why did they choose to spend their lives apart, why hide, why the pain, unto themselves and those they loved, so many unanswered questions to the anguish that is their lives.

Unable to help myself, just as it had been when I was twelve, I open my mouth.

"He missed you every day you were gone for the last ten years of his life." And it was true, I would catch my father glancing towards the Konoha gates, visiting Sakura-san and off-handedly asking about Uncle Sasuke. I would catch him sometimes drinking alone in the living room and gaze at the spot where his best friend usually sat when he visited, his eyes dull, his lips pressed thin.

The last battle besides his best friend may have been the happiest his father had been in those years.

I didn't understand until he had passed that Sasuke had stayed away because he chose to fulfill my father's dream.

The hated demon who became the Nanadaime, the orphan with a beautiful wife and beautiful family. The hero who saved the village from his traitor genin teammate. He stayed away because he was the prodigy that fell so far. He is the disgraced man who spent so much of his life in atonement - not for his name or his village, but for the people he loved. He stayed away because -

"You loved my father."

He looks at me just as he had years ago, eyes lingering just a moment longer than should have been necessary. I know that he sees my father in me, it is why he does not come to see me all these years. He turns back to my father's tombstone, in no rush to respond.

He finally breaks the silence as he crouches down, "With every ounce of my being."

I have heard nothing more certain in my life.

He brushes his fingertips across the engraving that reads " _Naruto Uzumaki"._

I watch, for the first time, with his eyes hidden from where I stand, the tears escape in a path down the greying Uchiha Sasuke's cheek. The corner of his lips tilted upwards in a desolate smile, for finally having admitted the truth that had weighed upon the two men their entire lives.

"Always, Naruto."

* * *

 _Edit: Thank you for the reviews and favorites! I've edited the story a little bit and am considering creating multiple chapters of the same story line but from other POVs._

 _I would love suggestions and prompts for SasuNaru/NaruSasu or other pairings!_


	2. Just One Moment

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto/Boruto, or any of its associated_ _characters_

 _Summary: Spin-off of Desolate Peregrination, about_ that night _that Boruto accidentally catches a glimpse of._

 _A/N: Hi everyone, I've been thinking about doing little spin-offs of this canon-divergence fics ever since I started Desolate Peregrination. So here is an additional chapter, hope it's worth a read..._

* * *

This is becoming dangerous, how comfortable Sasuke is becoming with life in Konoha. He swallows dryly as Naruto's chuckles ring out into the dimly lit room. It is becoming dangerous how familiar Naruto's presence is becoming in his everyday routine. The last of the blond's laughter settled in his heart and blue eyes turned to catch his gaze, bright and warm. He watches as the corners of his mouth pull into a content, lopsided grin. Sasuke's heart thuds in warning, _dangerous._

A part of Sasuke almost hopes that Naruto would push him away as he presses forward to catch the blond's lips with his own. But he doesn't get pushed away. Instead, when he moves back begrudgingly, he meets blue eyes looking as anguished as he feels.

"I never knew it was possible, to miss someone who is _right there_ , so _damn_ much," Naruto breathes, almost desperately. His hand reaches for Sasuke's cheek, he strokes his fingers through the dark locks, and he pulls Sasuke back towards himself.

In their pleasantly inebriated, heart-achingly vulnerable state, Sasuke loses sight of everything. He forgets about their families, he forgets about their responsibilities, he forgets about everything that is unacceptable to society. Because right here, right now, he is basking in the tender touches of his long forgotten lover.

They make love that night, that was the only way to put it. In their youths, they have had wild, almost primal intercourse, where the world had ceased to exist against their desperate _need_ for each other's flesh. They have had passionate heated sex, where they ravished each other's bodies like it was their last night together. They have had languid, tender lovemaking sessions where the days blurred into nights as they became more and more intoxicated in the drug that was each other. But this was different to every other time that they have lain together. It was the intimate and heartbreaking reacquaintance of a forbidden lover's body. It was the outpouring of sorrow for the loss of their tremendous love through the ministrations of their physical bodies. They made love because they both knew that it should not, and cannot happen again. This time, it really is their last night together.

When Naruto awoke early enough that the skies were still dark, he found himself locking eyes with mismatched red and purple. Sasuke blinked and black took red's place, and Naruto felt his heart break all over again as it did when they shared their last kiss years ago. His heart is breaking from the pain he knew Sasuke shares.

"It's okay," he offers a barely-there-smile as he brushes his fingertips on a pale cheek, gently pushing the hair away from the face, "I wish I can remember as well as you could, teme."

Sasuke blinks once more and his sharingan is back. He doesn't say anything because he doesn't trust himself to; because if he did, he'll ask Naruto to run away with him, he'll want to leave everything behind once more. And he'll regret ever saying those words because they have families now... Families they both love and have responsibilities to. A village they both have to protect. Naruto's reputation to keep intact. Instead, he just watches, and tries to convince himself that he is content just to lay here by Naruto's side. Just for a little longer.

Naruto kisses him softly and moves back just enough so he can speak. All Sasuke can see are glitters of blue as Naruto rests his forehead against his own.

"I love you so much, Sasuke."

That breaks Sasuke. He doesn't stop the tears from falling as he deactivates his eye. Partly because he doesn't want to remember this for the rest of his life without Naruto, partly because he doesn't need it to remember it for the rest of his life without Naruto, like this, by his side.

"Dobe, don't ever say these words to me again," Sasuke manages to say as he turns to face the ceiling and lift his arm over his eyes.

And that shatters Naruto. He bites back his refusal as he watches the tears escape in a trail down the side of Sasuke's face, otherwise perfectly composed and expressionless. He feels his lips quiver and he bites down to stop his own emotions from spilling. Naruto wraps his arms around Sasuke and pulls him flush against himself.

It doesn't matter. His words don't matter. They chose this path. This was all they can have between them, this moment, Sasuke in his arms.

That has to be enough for them. Just this one moment of feeling whole again.

When the darkness receded, Naruto's arms lay in front of him, across an empty bedspread. The morning rays carried away their night of reckless, heady desire and washes ashore their respectable realities to which they now must hold accountable once more.

Naruto stares lifelessly at his hand as it grips on to the bed sheets, his chest ringing hollowly, a requiem reverberating through his bones.

In the early dawn light he had almost asked Sasuke to stay as he dressed with his back to Naruto. Naruto had almost considered the possibility of somehow sharing their lives together again. He will convince Sasuke, he will convince everyone, his friends, his subordinates, his village, that _they_ can work it out. That it is possible. He can convince Sakura, he can convince Hinata, his family, his children... He can...

He cannot-

Sasuke makes the choice for them.

"Sayonara*, Hokage-sama."

That is all it takes for Sasuke to shove Naruto back into his reality. Naruto's head snaps up to take one last look at Sasuke's back before he disappears. Just like that, in an instant, and he was gone. He never looked back.

' _Hokage-sama.'_ How easy it had always been for Sasuke to remind Naruto of where he stood now. He hated it when Sasuke called him that. He hates the irony that in order to fix the home for the person he loves most in his life, he must learn to love him differently. He hates that in order to protect the people they had both come to care about, they must sacrifice each other. He hates that they both so readily sacrifice themselves just so the world runs that much smoother... And he loves Sasuke all the more because of it.

When the rays bounce off the walls and hit the bedspread, blue eyes harden with resolve. Naruto clenches the sheets one last time and rises for the day.

Sasuke leaves silently for his travels once more the next day.

* * *

 _*I used "Sayonara" because there is a tone/meaning of finality to it when they use it in Japan to bid someone goodbye._

 _A/N: Thanks for sticking around! Like I said in the beginning of this chapter, I have been thinking about spin-offs, but I don't currently have any plans for additional chapters. However, I do have another brain fart regarding Naruto's death. Should the urge arise to unload my brain juices, I'll post another chapter to this fic._

 _For now, I hope everyone stays happy and safe._


End file.
